Is it smart to use threats or insulting language when asking for help?

Question

I've seen many questions where the person asking for help, uses insults as part of their question. As examples, look at these:

1. How can I get your (bad word here) software to do what I (bad word here) want?
2. You are all (list of bad words here) if you think I'll keep using your (bad word here) software if I can't get this to work!

Is this a good way to get people to help me? For instance, if I threaten to leave Ubuntu if I don't get help immediately; will that make the community realize how important my question is and make them rush to my resque? Or if I insult the software or community, does it make helpers feel that they can save face by providing extra good help extra quickly?

I am asking because so many users choose this tactic.

Answer 1

takes off moderator hat

As a free software developer, if you come to me swearing like a pirate, insulting something I've put hours into and lots of thought, then I will help you, but I will remember you and your name. And that's not a good thing.

puts on moderator hat

As a community moderator here on Ask Ubuntu, if someone does that, I will edit/or delete it and ask them to try again and

• Not Insult anyone if possible.

• Do remember to treat the developers/those who help you politely, since many of them if not 99.9% do it for free with no pay . (that number might be slightly off, but probably not by much)

Answer 2

Most helpers on this site are volunteers. They are not paid to do customer service. They do so because they're proud of the software and community they're contributing to. This means that if you insult the software, you are also insulting them. This makes it very much more likely that your question will be downvoted and closed rather than people stepping forward to volunteer to help you.

Threatening to leave Ubuntu if you don't get immediate help will usually result in a polite "goodbye" rather than quick help. The volunteers do not loose anything if you choose some other operating system. In fact, many helpers would feel that if rude users went somewhere else, it would be a good thing.

In other words, neither threats nor insults are likely to result in higher quality assistance. It is a bad strategy and should be avoided.

Answer 3

language, no. Threats to leave, well... you might think it conveys how important the feature is to you enjoying the software, but it sets up the opposite message (yes if ultimately if you can not resolve certain things you will leave) but if you say that people will say "ok, leave then, the community will be better without you" and that sets up a harmful effect to the community as well. So users state why a certain usability issue is important you (i.e. how the software is used daily), and consider that there might not be a magic fix all solution. Also don't respond to "I'll leave" threats, someone might drop one in haste or frustration, Edit out the threat and get down to what the real problem is.

Answer 4

Some people get frustrated and start swearing like a pirate. I know the feeling because I've been there several times before. I don't think this is particularly malicious but in terms of cleaning up things here, we usually edit them out.

On the other hand (and what you're really alluding to) people who make ultimatums and threats can choke on them for all I care. That behaviour is not and will not be tolerated anywhere in the Ubuntu community.

If I see a post that is anti-social, it goes. If it's really bad, the user goes too. We aim to maintain a friendly environment for asking and answering questions so people who can't play nice are not welcome here.

Answer 5

People who bad mouth the software they are using are making it plain they accept no role in causing their problem. First question I ask someone with trouble, what is the last thing you did before you noticed the problem. Understanding how they got there is helpful in identifying a problems cause even if it's not a cockpit problem. If they're nasty and playing the blame game they're not ready to cooperate in resolution. I won't subject myself to their abuse and bad attitude.

Answer 6

Flag it as not welcome in our communitiy.

Insulting will annoy serious people and distract the more professional and the more adult ones.

Moderators shouldn't do the work of clean up, but close the questions.

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy,
have some taste (woo woo)
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste,
mmm yeah (woo woo, woo woo)

M. Jagger/K. Richards, Sympathy for the Devil

Answer 7

I believe Ubuntu is awesome and that the community is awesome. Also hats off to every programmer here for their work. I learned a few languages in windows and trying here,so I know the fun and frustrations a programmer might go through. Personally I think everyone should follow the golden rule-do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I know if I put some software together, chances are there will be someone that has an issue with it because this is a big world with lots of people. So if the person cussing me doesn't realize or isn't mature enough to be patient to let me further assist, I guess I really wouldn't care if he/she used it or not. There is a thing called respect, same thing that person cussing would want in return. In Microsoft OS I noticed when I actually found an application that I liked In windows if I used it, it wouldn't work long anyway and there was no way to fix it. At least I can say here if you re using something and something happens you have a community that cares. But if you tarnish your name by cussing at the people that will actually help you, lol, it might not turn out in your best interest and at same time it just makes yourself look bad.

Answer 8

Perhaps surprisingly, I have observed it can be effective, if done correctly: less like pure insulting and rudeness and more like trolling. After all, if you have some technical issue that nobody really wants to get their hands dirty on, if you insult their manhood (or whatever), it can bring you attention where someone wants to show how smart he is (and how stupid you are) -- and the way he can show you his smartness is by providing actual useful info; it works in real life, so why would it be different here?